


Darkest At Night

by breatheforeverypart



Series: Watson the Service Dog and his Partner-in-health, Bucky Barnes [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Choking, Flashbacks, Gen, M/M, Nightmares, PNES, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, before Watson the Service Dog, thanks for reading, tread carefully if any of these tags will trigger you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23214364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breatheforeverypart/pseuds/breatheforeverypart
Summary: Here's more about Bucky's PNES episodes and his life in recovery with Steve.  Steve and Sam and quite close friends in this AU one shot.  I hoped to give a little background into why Steve is so consumed with JARVIS being allowed access to private rooms.  Steve is traumatized too, but differently, as a caregiver.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Series: Watson the Service Dog and his Partner-in-health, Bucky Barnes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758628
Kudos: 37





	Darkest At Night

***After***Steve's POV

He forced a deep breath as he leaned over the toilet. It was sheer will of mind that he hadn’t vomited. He could hear JARVIS faintly asking if assistance was required. 

Spitting into the bowl he answered “Yes. Could you wake Sam and have him wait by the door?” 

“On his way sir. Is anyone else required?” 

“No. Thank you, JARVIS.” He stood on shaky legs and flicked the light off as he padded back to the bedroom. 

Sinking onto the edge of the bed Steve started to card his fingers through Bucky’s hair. This latest PNES episode had left him completely depleted of energy. 

***Before***Steve's POV 

His hands grabbed at sheets and his feet tangled in the covers. He couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe? 

A cold vice threatened to break his throat. 

Bucky. He couldn’t speak. 

Desperate he reached a hand to Bucky’s face. Please, please, please. 

Black spots started to cloud his vision and his limbs tingled with lack of oxygen. 

***Before***Bucky's POV

Mission complete. 

HYDRA’s weapon held the objective close. A few more seconds and it would be done. 

Wait. Wrong. This was wrong. 

This was soft. He was not allowed to feel soft. Only cold. 

Bed. Stevie said soft was allowed. Safe. 

Steve. 

Let go. 

Let go.

***Before***Bucky's POV

Gasping Steve bolted upright holding his throat. He scooted away from the threat automatically. Without thought, it was instinctual. Self-preservation. 

Bucky looked at the arm with horror. Hyperventilating he looked at Steve, gagging and holding his throat with both hands like if he let go he would lose his ability to breathe altogether. He did that, he almost ended the man who saved his life repeatedly. Who fought for him. Who kept coming back through all the nightmares, the seizures, the triggers, the failed therapy sessions, the times he tried to kill the solider he was terrified of. 

A familiar throbbing started at the back of his skull. He gripped the back of his head with his flesh hand and pitched forward on to the bed, only dimly aware of Steve’s hand on the back of his neck. 

***After***Steve & Sam's POV

A quiet knock at the door pulled Steve’s attention from memory. 

“We’re okay darling.” Steve whispered, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s sweaty temple. 

The light in the hallway made Steve squint as he left the door to his rooms ajar. Sam had his arms crossed like a college RA, stubborn and ready for trouble at this hour. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Shrugging Steve released his neck. Under the harsh fluorescent lights, the bruising was highlighted. “Flashback. Then PNES episode. He’s asleep now.” 

“May I?” Sam’s face hardened, his expression unreadable. 

Flinching Steve squeezed his hands into fists as Sam manipulated his head and neck. “No fractures. Any difficulty breathing? Wheezing?” 

Shaking his head with difficulty Steve pulled away from his friend. “I thought I was gonna be sick, but I’m okay now.” 

Sam studied Captain America. He had no right to tell him how to deal with any of this. No one knew how to begin to help someone as traumatized as the Winter Solider. He and Natasha had been working on strategies. He’d been talking to the guys at the VA more and more. Hell, he’d even been checking out specialists whose expertise was in cult de-programming. 

“What do you need?” Sam asked gently. 

Steve bit his lip. “I don’t know.” He seemed to steel himself as he gazed at the lump on the bed, a tangle of sheets and sweat. “I don’t know what to do.” His resolve wavered as he repeated the same over and over. 

Sam didn’t know if Steve even knew he was crying. Without another thought, he gathered Captain American in his arms and held him. 

While he didn’t have answers, he was able to take on some of the burden in this moment. They’d worry about the rest in the morning.


End file.
